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Even though I occasionally dream about children they are not really kid-like. They're generally miniature adults or "nature" spirits in disguise. (That's the best way I can explain them. They are extremely intelligent, ancient, and trying to show me a path through life that my waking consciousness is too dull to notice.) At twenty-seven, almost -eight, I still have never felt any sort of pull toward having children, nor the proverbial ticking of a biological clock. Some children interest me, but only those who are very special. Usually I cannot stand little ones under the age of six, unless their parents are right there for me to hand them off to once they become ---well, more animated is a polite term.

I was walking across campus the other day when I heard a man breathe esctatically into his cell phone: "We're pregnant! Allie told me just last night! I know! Isn't it great!"

I wanted to go over to the guy, slap the phone out of his hand, and revoke his Man Privilages. While I am all for the modern notion of complete partnership in relationships and parenting the  touchy-feely, modern notion of a couple being pregnant is just ridiculous. It's biologically impossible for a human male to be pregnant. She is pregnant, mister, but you are both having a baby. She will go through labor, you will deliver. It's great that you're involved and all mister, but until you help cut the cord, your work is done in regards to the formation of that infant.

I also have an issue with the cute-ification of pregnancy that the media seems to be going ga-ga over lately. "Baby bump" instead of pregnant belly or stomach, calling a woman "preggers" when she's actually pregnant... My response to those words is probably not what they had in mind. Morbidly, I think of "baby bump" as something that small children get when they hit their heads a little to hard crawling under the dining room table. "Preggers" sounds like some spaghetti sauce gone horribly wrong.

What happened with using... you know... actual English words with wonderful, ready-made meanings to describe what is? When did baby-talk babbling become so mainstream? At this rate I expect Anderson Cooper to deliver grave, war-related news with: "Well, the Sunnis woke up wif some boo-boos today after a night of violence-wiolence in the big town of Baghdad. But on a happier note, PM Maliki's wife has a baby bump that indicates she's three months along! All of the nursery goods will be Prada."


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 11th, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
As someone who both intends on having a kid and is logically aware of what it entails financially, physically, emotionally, and life-focus changingly... my heart swells when I hear men describe it as "we're pregnant." 'Tis a simple way of saying that he'll be as involved and supportive as is human-male-ishly possible throughout the pregnancy and childhood... stuff that evolutionary instinct tells me is a total bonding turn-on. That adult-to-adult baby talk can fuck off though, I hate that shit.

Haha, my sister is the only other person I've ever heard use the word "preggers." She's always ahead of fashion.
Mar. 12th, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
Preggers has been around for a while, but now it's become mainstream media.

I can't ever accept "we're pregnant," because it's impossible unless there's two mothers involved. It's like saying "we have blue balls" when a man and woman are interrupted during foreplay, or "we have menstrual cramps," or "we have a prostrate issue."
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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